I discovered “Without Myself” in“Noticing Newbies Newsletter (May 28, 2014)“. The first paragraph hooked me with the narrator’s eyes opening for the first time. The descriptions are part of the action and move the plot forward at a good pace. The narrator’s voice keeps the reader focused on the story, while giving enough background information to answer the reader’s questions.
What I liked: There are several thing that I like about this story. First, I like the logical flow of the narration because it reveals keeps the action moving while focusing on the thoughts of the narrator. Second, is the confusion and amnesia that the narrator experiences at the beginning of the story because it emphasizes a traumatic event without going into much detail and foreshadows the narrator’s final realization of what happened. Third, I like the characters because, while they are somewhat unsympathetic, they are intriguing.
Technical Issues or Typos: A typo in this phrase, and smiles, I suggest changing smiles to smiled because it is a better fit in the sentence.
Suggestions: The only suggestion I have is found under Technical issues and typos.
I enjoyed reading this thought provoking short story. Write on.