Personal Impression: I am speechless. I can’t believe the devil got away with all of that and that mother just let it happen because of blind faith. I am outraged right now at the injustice of it all. How will they ever catch that rat?
Tone & Mood: Great tone and mood. It has a dark mood to it. The tone was tight and constant. It hooked you right from the start with sympathy for Anne and then the normal teenage rebellion that occurs that she couldn’t handle. So, she seeks out something to make her happy.
Emotional Impact: You caused me to wonder and speculate. I wonder at what will happen now. What will happen when sweet momma gives up on him? You could write a book with this short story, isn’t that is what we strive for as writers? A story that has a great hook?
Grammar/Punctuation: You did an excellent job with this. I see no problems other than the double ?? when you should have used an exclamation mark.
Summary: Your overall story was well presented and held my attention. I felt for the woman and the kids, all three of them. I didn’t care for the husband. I was completely sucked in and thought that you could make a story out of this. I mean a long story like a novel or novella.
Overall: I would recommend this to others and buy the book if you wrote it because I think you would do well to make a book out of this.
Thanks for sharing this item! I only review things that I enjoy reading and I truly did enjoy this story. Please keep on writing more stories just like this!
From Billie on www.writing.com